Hacking QR Codes: I’m a QR Code Pirate and I’ll Make You See Booty

qr-forehead

QR codes are all the rage. Who ever thought something that looks like it came out of a dot matrix printer from the ’90′s could be such a powerful marketing tool in 2011?

But I’ve got a bone to pick with marketers who use QR codes. You’re well on your way to a viral social media nightmare that you cannot possibly imagine, and your cute little QR code is going to be to blame.

Don’t believe me? OK. Fine. Let me give you an interactive demonstration. Ready your smart phone, dear reader!

Adorable Bunny

Scan for Adorable Bunny Video

Go ahead. Scan it. It’s SFW, I promise. I’ll wait.

Now, if you’re done soiling yourself, I hope you can see my point. Did I tell you where the QR code was going to go? No. I told you what you might see if you scan the code (no spoilers here, you have to scan it).

Now imagine what would happen if, say, I – Nick Armstrong of WTF Marketing – saw this lovely QR code from one of my loose competitors:

RFI QR Code

Now, I love Reu (owner of RFI) — he’s a fantastic fellow. But he’s one of the only people in Fort Collins who’ve put out a public QR code for their business, so I’m forced to use his as an example of how it can all go horribly wrong.

I had the thought that, if I had a QR code sticker, or you know – photoshop and a high-efficiency color printer, I could “amend” Reu’s QR code advertisement. You can’t even tell I’ve modified the above image.

In case that QR Code is too small for you to scan, here it is:

QR Code from RFI Poster

I’m reasonably sure that Reu didn’t have that in mind when he created that ad. Now, stickers can be printed off my simple deskjet on $5 Avery paper. I’m now armed with a swarm of PR-damaging QR codes to bitchslap my competition’s reputation back to the stone age.

Aside the fact that I’ve blogged about this, there’s no proof it was me, and I can get away with impunity. Sorry, Reu.

I’d never do this. But the fact that I thought about it implies that someone else probably has – someone with less moral scruples than me. And that someone is out there right now screwing with your QR codes. Imagine what would happen if they didn’t have any remorse as to what they linked to? Maybe goat porn? You betcha.

Worse still, when the company gives no indication of where their QR code goes (Reu did in his poster, but it’s not immediately obvious) — it’s not clear what action the user is going to be expecting when they scan the code. I saw one on the back of a Heinz Ketchup  bottle that said, “Send ‘Food’ to 12345 or Scan this QR Code”. Am I expecting to send a text message? QR codes can do that, you know. Or generate a phone call, or send me a business card or text display. What am I supposed to expect?

Remember that old rule for making good presentations: Tell ‘em what you’re going to tell ‘em, tell ‘em, and tell ‘em what you told ‘em? This should be the de facto standard golden rule for marketers. If you print something, expect people to misinterpret (or in their heads, “interpret”) your marketing message unless (and even if) you are explicitly clear about it.

All in all, don’t be afraid to use QR codes. Just tell the consumer what to expect when they scan it — and check in on your QR codes after you’ve posted ‘em to make sure nobody like me has screwed with them.

(Header photo: How do you like my new QR code tattoo?)

Posted in Business Storyteller, Digital Gunslinger | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Equal and Opposite Community Reactions

bad-relationships-post

When you build a business, what you’re really doing is building a community. A community around a brand, a product, a person – whatever – a hodgepodge of people who ordinarily may not have much in common have this one unifying thing. It’s beautiful.

And you tend to focus only on the positive elements of that community. You never really think about the consequences of building that community – who you’ve left out, who you’ve left behind, who found out they weren’t as unique or important as they thought they were.

One of my clients liked to say, “It may be just business, but business is personal”. No kidding.

Current customers, ignored in favor of the new customers. Innocent bystanders put out by your business practices. People in your target market who are actively offended by your marketing attempts.

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. When you become popular (which thanks to blogging, YouTube and Twitter is a relatively low bar to hit), some people who have no clue who you are (as a person) are going to hate your guts. Are you ready for that? Were you expecting it?

I talk a lot about building communities, and from a business perspective it’s the only marketing goal you should really have. The flip-side of that coin – from the individual’s perspective – is self-identity. Whose self identity is so adamantly tied to opposing your very existence that they not only refuse to be a part of your community, but seek to tear it down?

Remember that art exhibit in Loveland – featuring a certain religious figure in a certain compromising position? That’s what I’m talking about. Loveland is a city built on fostering the arts – all kinds of arts, not just the safe stuff, but things that make you stop and think.

And so a group of people did. They stopped, they thought – and then they decided that it wasn’t the kind of art they liked. In fact, it was the kind of art they wanted to take a hammer to. And subsequently, one of their community members did.

I thought that act of vandalism was deplorable, and it’s so damned easy to write them off as crazy religious fanatics, but as a marketer, as a small business owner, I owe them more than just writing them off. We all need to think about what it was like to be in their shoes. It’s not that the anti-community didn’t value outside perspectives or ideas, or rousing conversations for that matter. It’s that they belong to a community that has accepted that figure as a very personal, very important part of their lives.

If you want a less God-y equivalent, try putting a Captain Kirk fan in the same room as a Captain Picard fan. Then, just for fun, bring in someone who marked “Jedi” as their religion on the census. Three, seemingly sane people, will quickly become a riotous herd of angry geeks in the absence of reason.

Consumer likes and dislikes are illogical, irrational, and completely and utterly human. As business owners, each and every choice we make – who to call right now, what to blog about, what product to discontinue, whose art to hang in the lobby – they all have serious consequences to our community and the shape it takes. It’s our responsibility to own up to those consequences.

(Header photo: Breakup by Nadir Cruise)

This post is part of the Blog Carnival series. On the last Wednesday of each month, Word Chef invites 10-12 top notch small business bloggers to contribute posts on a similar topic. Then, links to those posts appear in the space below…can you handle that much fun? Let’s find out!

Posted in Business Storyteller, Digital Gunslinger, Social Media and Marketing | Tagged , , | 11 Comments

Angry Nerds and Violating Expectations

helpdesk

As a geek, I often deal with software updates for myself and others. There’s a certain expectation in software updates that something will usually go wrong, so you plan for it. I present you with a tale of two very different software updates:

Upgrading to OSX Lion: Open App Store, click “Upgrade to Lion” ad. Pay once. Update any computer you own. Seamless update, no issues. Resume using computer.

Total time: less than one hour.

Upgrading to Windows 7: Spend ten minutes trying to find the Windows 7 website. Give up, look on Amazon and take another twenty minutes to figure out which version of Windows you need. Pay once. Update up to three computers, and may god help you if you try to upgrade more – if so, pay again. Insert CD. CD doesn’t load. Find CD in explorer. Initiate the Update. Update fails on all three computers. Have to reformat the harddrives and install from scratch. Told I cannot use my activation key because I didn’t have windows already installed on my computer. Spend twenty minutes Googling for a fix. Must use a REGEDIT hack or reinstall Vista (and forcibly re-activate VISTA too, because they only let you install that a few times – and by the way, you can’t use a NON-OEM disc to install an OEM version of Vista). Twelve hours later, resume using computer. Wait, no, scratch that. Windows Update informs me that I have 15 minutes to make a decision or it will reboot for me and initiate the update sequence. Five hours of updates later, I can resume using the computer.

Total time: 18 hours of update time, 4 hours incomprehensible weeping in a cold shower with my clothes on.

Windows is becoming great for one thing: wasting the family geek’s time. I almost -never- get asked to fix a problem with a Mac. 99% of the time my phone rings for tech help, it’s a Windows issue.

I used to LOVE my XP-based Alienware kick-ass gaming machine. I dominated Quake Arena, MechWarrior 4, you know – in between Windows Updates. I even thought I should go back and revive it one of these days, but the thought of having to buy yet another Windows 7 activation key makes me want to set it on fire.

Lion, while buggy for the moment, just freakin works. Windows seems to do everything it can -not- to work.

Is it any wonder why Microsoft is losing market share? When you violate non-geek expectations, a geek gets a call. When you violate geek expectations (that, you know, I don’t have to spend a day upgrading my fucking software), you create a malicious hacker or an Apple fanboy.

All I’m trying to do is play fucking Star Trek: Online!

(Header photo: Helpdesk by arycorge)

Posted in Business Storyteller, Digital Gunslinger, Geek Superhero, Psychotic Resumes Blog, Too Real To Be Fake | 6 Comments