Google is bringing fiber optic internet to a city soon. It may be Fort Collins.

To make it happen – create something cool, funny, or post pictures of you begging and then submit it to: http://www.google.com/appserve/fiberrfi/public/options

I’m going to be going around with a Flip over the next weeks and recording some people for Fiber 4 Fort Collins – new a Tumblr site in support of making this happen.

I dare you to spend 5 minutes in a room with Bill Tucker.

Not only will you learn something new, you’ll likely make a new friend. Bill Tucker is undoubtedly one of the smartest people in Fort Collins. Don’t believe me? Check out Bill’s presentation on Six Thinking Hats from Ignite Fort Collins #4

One of my best friends, Kevin Buecher, before I knew him as well as I do today, stood in front of 50-60 inspiration-seekers – showing them that they had the tools they needed all on their own.

I was inspired… Kevin had done what I was hoping to do; he beat me to it, in fact – starting LaidOffCamp in Fort Collins. But I wasn’t mad or jealous; I wanted to help. So I dove in to see what it was all about first-hand.

I led two sessions: one on how to write a better resume and one on how to use social media to expedite a job search.

A month before LaidOffCamp Fort Collins #2, Kevin asked me to come back and lead a few more sessions. He asked because my name kept coming back on the evaluations as the most helpful session. After a successful LaidOffCamp Fort Collins #2, Kevin invited me over for lunch and asked me to help him facilitate LaidOffCamp Fort Collins #3 by kicking off the event.

The evaluations from LaidOffCamp Fort Collins #3 asked for Kevin to kick off the event (haha). I wasn’t phased. Neither was Kevin.

Kevin and I opened LaidOffCamp Fort Collins #4 together; hosting the largest LaidOffCamp in Colorado yet with close to 200 people in attendance. There were so many ideas and so many people wanting to learn or share something new that we filled up two idea boards. That’s never happened before.

LaidOffCamp Fort Collins #5 is just around the corner – March 29th, 2009, and if you’re wondering if you should attend or not, consider the picture below:

This is Si – another of my other best friends. Si is 24. In this picture, Si was entrusted by these folks to facilitate the Job Seekers Over 40 session. Guess whose name was on the evaluation forms this time around?

Si owns his own business, as Kevin and I do. As many of the people in attendance are trying to do (or dream of doing). We’re here to help.

LaidOffCamp is perfect for anyone who needs a little inspiration. Join us!

Speaking of which, as I write this (in friggin Pages!) we’re sitting in Rockford Coffee in Bozeman, MT. The drive here was a literal journey through hell. Here’s the view from Holy-Fuck-We’re-Lost, Washington (a small, foggy town between Spokane and Bozeman):

Bozeman, as it turns out, is cold as balls. In fact, everything from Spokane, WA to Bozeman, MT was cold as balls. I’m a guy who can wear t-shirts in negative ten and be just fine (aside from the emergence of the ability to cut glass at will) – so when I say it’s cold… believe it.

Spokane was a quick stop for us (though I’d have liked to see more of it), and unremarkable save for Brooke, the hostess of Boston’s who is going to send us a picture of her new, amazing nose piercing when she gets it done — stay tuned.

Where were we? Right, Portland.  Portland is very green.

Si, Liz and I joined Mike to go to Kornblatts – a New York style deli for breakfast. East Coast met West Coast as we “noshed” (a word that makes me ill) on salt bagels and lox. Liz, our resident expert on Jewish culture, was pleased with the kosherness of it all.

Meanwhile, Kevin left for his own adventure – meeting up with Cassie, a kindred spirit who feels much the same about business, ethics, and marketing as Kevin, Si and myself. Cassie is, in short, bad-ass. More on her later.

We walked on (hiked, actually) through Portland, on roads where all those stories Bill Cosby used to tell about walking up-hill, both ways, in freezing snow can actually be true. Lots of litter around the streets (which, as an aside was only notable because of how very -clean- Seattle was). We tweeted the Mayor, but didn’t hear back – we were hoping he’d have joined us on our trip through Washington Park and the Rose Garden, which was serene and beautiful, despite a distinct lack of flowering roses.

You cannot buy grain alcohol in Washington state. We discovered this little gem of info from Brady, the founder of Ignite Seattle, who asked us to become bootleggers when we were set to meet up with him. Gleefully, we found a liquor store (which, by and by, was an interesting experience – there is no beer in liquor stores in Oregon, it’s only for grocery stores).

Portland also has a LOT of really cool art.

Mike, our guide through the city, took us to Powell’s Book Store – a 5-story nerd-gasm of literary goods. I left with no less than 10 new Star Trek books and a lighter wallet (you just can’t put me near a book store). We met back up with Kevin and officially met Cassie, who would later come with us to Seattle.

Liz opted to catch the train from Portland to Seattle so she could catch up more with Mike and his fiance, while Kevin, Si and I continued on to Seattle by car. At this point I should mention that Xena’s space, while awesome, wasn’t really an option for us to shower at. With only 4 hours of sleep and a 3 hour car ride, things can get interesting. Like, pseudo-shower in a dirty 10-cent gas station kind of interesting… the kind of shower where you leave feeling dirtier than when you started.

Onward, to Seattle… (to be continued in the next part from Fort Collins late tonight)…

I’ll post photos here later – for some reason I can’t upload them on this Wifi (sitting in Goldrush Coffee, Portland OR).

Okay, so the day wasn’t all doom and gloom (though the road mostly was – snow and freezing rain all the way).  It was a bit of a disappointing start out of Utah – we discovered that you can’t actually get to the Spiral Jetty without a Jeep, a goat, and four sherpas.  We did find the Golden Spike, though – the place where on May 10, 1869, they drove the final connecting spike in the transcontinental railroad. Read more on our adventure through Utah here.

We “arrived” in Idaho completely by surprise, stopping at what we thought was the last gas station in Utah only to find out that we were actually in Delco, Idaho.  A quick stop-over at a Jack in the Box in Boise with an outdoor fireplace and we were back on the road.  Liz managed to alert us to the fact that we’d entered Oregon, as well.

Arriving in Portland around 10:30 PM, we received our cavity search from the officer, and plowed through to Xena’s house.  Xena introduced us to what Liz refers colloquially as “Food Carnies” – a row of trailers that serve a variety of different foods.  Kevin, Si and I had some amazing poutin fries and Liz had something good enough to inspire her to marry her food-carnie chef with whatever implement looked ring-like enough (we found a washer in the car).

Food Carnie husband in tow, we hit Voodoo Doughnuts – and Liz snagged the last Maple Bacon Longjohn while Xena and I had a conversation about why ducks are so goddamn creepy.  I wasn’t sure I agreed until I heard her arguments.  As it turns out, warrior princesses are very persuasive.

This morning, we’re going to hit up The Meadows, a salt-tasting extravaganza, and Kornblatt’s Deli, and maybe dropping Si off with some bike carnies (we’re finding there’s a lot of them in Portland).  Updates to come – check out our Twitter stream.

Friday I was invited to a conference to teach the City of Fort Collins more about Social Media alongside Viveka Von Rosen and Dawn Putney.

We arrived just in time for lunch, catered complete with plastic silverwear and plastic plates.

As the meeting got going again, I noticed the plastic plates and silverwear had been thrown away.  It certainly wasn’t because Fort Collins doesn’t like to recycle (we love to!); it was because the recycling bin had a cover that kept everything but bottles and cans out.  Nobody had thought to remove that barrier to entry: there was no need before that.

So, as Kim, the organizer, introduced yours truly to the 40+ attendees, I was elbow-deep in the trash pulling out anything plastic I could get my hands on and tossing it into the now-uncapped recycling bin.

When it was my turn to talk, I started by opening up the windows to get some natural light in and wake up the attendees.

And then, for the first time ever, a company with an explicative in the title and an owner under 25, spoke to a government agency about how to integrate governmental social media into an amazing city.

First impressions, right?  Barriers to entry should only exist as long as they make sense.  I’m glad we broke a few.

Here’s my vision: free or $1 bi-weekly class with an hour dedicated to music lessons and an hour dedicated to a recorded community jam session.  The goal being closer community ties and music appreciation!

The $1 would go to provide insurance or help cover the cost of the instruments or materials used.  The sessions would be recorded, and we could sell the CDs for $5 a pop in various places around town.  The cd revenue would go to fund music programs in Fort Collins area schools.

What we need:

• Instruments (Music schools? Pawn shops?)
• Teachers (Again, Music schools or seasoned pros?)
• Participants
• People willing to record the music (I can do this pretty easily)

Let me know if you’re interested in helping to make this idea happen – I won’t be able to do it on my own, but I’m willing to help as much as I can!

Just think of all the awesome possibilities… like getting to dress like Gogol Bordello!

Most of the porn spammers post non-random URLs, that is, URLs with common base: bit.ly/69twitter, bit.ly/gosexy, bit.ly/girls69, bit.ly/69ta04, bit.ly/VKt3H.

Using this search instead (and you can use it in TweetDeck, too!) will greatly reduce the spam you’re seeing:

Fort Collins -http://bit.ly/girls69 -http://bit.ly/gosexy -http://bit.ly/69ta04 -http://bit.ly/VKt3H -http://bit.ly/69twitter

Check it out:

Enjoy!

Enjoy!

I admit, I’m not the fastest at going from stop to 1st or realizing that the car is stalling out because I’m still in 2nd… but I’m doing pretty good.

I’ve noticed, though, that no matter what kind of car I’m driving, a random sampling of Fort Collins drivers reveals most to be moronic, at best.  And no blaming it on the Freshmen – you ass-clowns were doing just fine before their “finely tuned” stock sports car shenanigans.

Here’s an R-rated list of fixes to the stupidity I see on a daily basis:

• Car drivers –
  • Most people below the age of 17 or over the age of 60 can’t drive. Simple as that.
  • Stop signs mean STOP. Why are you getting pissed off when people ACTUALLY STOP!?
  • Stop following too closely.  Give me at LEAST a car length.  What the hell are you accomplishing by riding my ass from Prospect to Jefferson on College?  Go around or calm the hell down.  Your bar skank will still be there for you to strike out on.
  • Keep your damn distance at a light. Those extra few inches might be the few that I roll back and crush your bumper.  Following too closely?  That’s YOUR 4 point ticket, jackass.
  • Put the cell phone down and stop weaving.  Stay in your own damn lane – I like the color of my car, if I wanted some of your color, I’d have bought a car that color.  Thanks for offering to share, though.
  • Get the hell out of my blindspots. I know you think you’re all Speed Racer-ish, but seriously, if I’ve slowed down or sped up or both, you seriously need to stop riding in line with my freakin rear tire.
  • Your turn signals work. Use them, douchebag!
  • The speed limit is there for a reason – do at least that or get the hell over.  I don’t care if you’re turning at the next light, going 15 under is going to get us both killed.
  • Stop speeding to box people in or cut people off.  Chillax – you’re just being a douchebag.
  • Yellow means slow the hell down. It doesn’t mean floor it to cut through the intersection on a bright red light.
  • If someone is slowing down for a Yellow light, you don’t have any right to honk, pitch a fit, or ride their ass.  If they couldn’t make it – neither could you.
  • If someone is slow to go at a Green, light calm the hell down (or honk lightly once) and let them go, don’t just zoom around ‘em in the middle of the intersection.
  • Let cars in – if someone’s turn signal is on, don’t crowd forward.  Let them in.
  • A one-way lane of a parking lot is ONE WAY for a reason. Don’t cut through, don’t run over pedestrians, and don’t park going the wrong way.  Most importantly – STOP for people in crosswalks, but be assertive and GO when the pedestrians are being selfish dicks.
  • If someone’s turn signal is on for a parking spot, it’s theirs.
  • The bike lanes are not turn lanes, morons!  And STOP crowding and speeding around bicyclists.
• Motorcyclists -
  • Wear a helmet and proper gear. Cleaning your blood and guts off my fender is not my idea of a fun weekend.
  • Stop weaving – see the “helmet and proper gear” notes.
  • The “gap” passing maneuver will get you killed as I squish you between my car and the truck stopping in front of me.
• Non-Semi Trucks –
  • Black smoke from a truck’s exhaust is 1) not sexy, 2) not fun to drive through and 3) the sign you don’t give a shit about your truck, you hillbilly bastard.
  • Anyone in the bed of the truck needs to sit the hell down and shut the hell up. Anyone throwing beer cans or insults had better be prepared for the blinding white light as I strip naked in my car.
• Semis -
  
  • I don’t care how urgent those rubber duckies are to Walmart – stop speeding, stop passing in rush-hour, and stop swerving.
    

And here’s two that are more rare but still important:

• Turn down your damn music. You might have more watts pumping through your subwoofers than The Aggie, but so help me if I hear Get Low blasting out of one more Frat Boy wagon, I’m going to “skeet skeet” some swear words your way.  Swear words so vile your ears may never recover.
• Mufflers are there to, you know, muffle the sound of your stupid over-cranked ’93 Mazda that sounds like Gary Busey on chili night. Seriously dude, your car sounds like it’s a moped.  Knock that crap off.
• Don’t honk at pedestrians or people trying to fix a bad situation. Offer to help or get the hell out of the way.  Don’t be a dick.